"Caring for your inner child has a powerful and surprisingly quick result: Do it and the child heals." - Martha Beck
Inside each of us there’s an inner child that was once wounded.
We were all at one time children and experienced some form of traumas. These traumas could vary from having been unfairly punished a teacher, to being bullied as school, to being neglected by your parents or physically abused.
When a child does not have the loving and nurturing support to guide them emotionally through these situations, the wounds don't heal, and they can cause problems in adulthood.
This may forever change your belief system and lead to cycles of self-sabotage in adulthood.
By subconsciously seek the parenting we missed out in other people we may always feel disappointed, rejected, and let down when they can’t fulfill our demands, or we refuse to let anyone close so that we never experience rejection again or feel hurt as much again.
Another example of acquired beliefs could be hiding or always saying what my parents want to hear in a way to stay out of trouble or being accepted and loved…we may turn into people pleaser as adults. This will lead to disconnection of self and a belief that they is something fundamentally wrong with who I am. Or if you felt betrayed as a child by one of your parent, your defense mechanism may become “Do not trust anyone you may get betrayed”.
Some situations or interactions we have with others as adult may bring out that wounded inner child. We may try to fight these behaviours, parts of us, suppress them or judge them but the more we do this the more worthless, lonely or unacceptable our inner child will feel.
Inner child work reconnects us with the child within.
By reconnecting with this wounded part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and sabotaging life patterns. This is where the true healing happens!
When we understand and view these behaviours are the results of little persons inside, separate entities, who are doing the best they can to cope with discomfort and pain, that they are just trying to help and protect us in their own distorted ways and then seeing then we can start to become more compassionate towards ourselves.
The more empathy we can show towards ourselves, the faster we can process and heal our pasts. Who can blame a child?
Inner child work involves showing your inner child the compassion you needed as a child. One way to tune into this compassion for that small, frightened child is to imagine the scene of the painful event or situation from the inner child's viewpoint. Then give your inner child the support it needed in the past.
This may first involve earning the trust of our inner child through love and self-nurturing.
Some ways to connect with your inner child and start re-parenting her
· talking with your inner child
· journaling from your inner child’s voice
· meditating to feel in touch with your inner child (who is she? how old is she? what is she wearing?)
· working with a pillow, doll or stuffed toy that represents your inner child
· allowing yourself to be playful in real life and do things you loved as a child
· learning to ‘parent’ yourself (nurture and care for yourself).
If you feel this work resonates with you, contact me to book a session. I will take you through a process to connect with your inner child. Inner child work is a truly powerful process and allows deep healing.
Infinite Love and Light